Saturday, December 18, 2010

Single Most Embarassing Moment of my Life.... and I have a lot!

As I went to the restroom in the local Walmart yesterday and saw this chair in the handicapped bathroom... I was reminded of a story I thought you would enjoy.

It was the same time of the year.  The boys and I were at the Ontario Mills Mall fighting the crowds and looking for Christmas outfits for pictures.  Sol was about to turn four and Zach was five years old. 

Being human I had to go #2 pretty bad.  The line was huge and because I had my entourage with me I had to wait for the handicapped bathroom to become available.  I was dying! Finally it is available and the three of us rush in and I hang my bags... I speedily lay out the toilet seat cover... and I sit down.  Aghhhhhh relief..... people you know what I am talking about.

Anyways... Solomon had just started to really talk. For some reason he was a late bloomer.   So he decides at this moment to speak clearly, loudly,  and in a complete sentence and says, "YOU GOING CACA MAMA?"  I hear all the giggles from the other women in the restroom and ignore him.  Then he says it again, louder.  "YOU GOING CACA MAMA?" Finally, I said, "Yes!  Hush!"  The next thing that happened I did not expect.  Sol and Zach who could not stand still to save their life started to go WWF in the stall.  Zachary grabbed Solomon and had him in the head lock... then all of a sudden Solomon turned into the Hulk and exploded Zachary off of him.  When this happened Zachary hit the door and it flung wide open.  Remember I told you I was in a crowded bathroom at the Ontario Mills Mall at Christmas time?????  All I could see are women standing in line all wide eyed and Zachary and Solomon both backed up against the wall totally frozen. Yes... now they decide to stand still.  They have that, we are in so much trouble look on their face.  Now picture me... on a handicapped toilet... with my arms waving in the air....my feet dangling because it is a huge toilet... and I am yelling, "CLOSE THE DOOR!  CLOSE THE DOOR!"  Nothing... dangling... waving... again louder I say, "CLOSE THE DOOR!"  They are frozen like the caveman at the Smithsonian.  FINALLY, some lady who obviously felt sorry for me got out of line and pushed the door shut.  Then Zach walked over and locked it.  He had this big old smile on his face... like he had just done something good. Grrrrrrr.

Needless to say, we stayed in that stall until we thought the current crowd was out of the restroom.

I wish they had the above seats in the bathroom back then.  I would of found a way to tie them both down. Thank God now they are older and I don't have to take them in the bathroom with me.
 

Here is the picture that was the result of that outfit shopping. 

Solomon.... see what happens when you embarrass your mommy?  You have to wear sweater vests with teddy bears on it. 

Yeah... take that!!!