Badda Bing Badda Boom - Dreams Crushed
For example... once I was at Home Depot and I was trying to get assistance from somebody and could not find a person to help me. I obviously looked like I was needing help and when an employee would see me, they would literally run in the opposite direction. How often does that happen??? So then I thought about it... this would be a great commercial for Lowes... you have a customer roaming around the store looking for the people in the orange aprons for help and they are hiding in the carpet rolls or something. Then the commercial would flash over to the same customer at Lowes and they would be getting great help picking out paint smiling and laughing. What a great commercial that would make... you knock down the competition! All day I obsessed about how I would pitch my idea to Lowes.
Well... years and years later and no advertising degree.. I sometimes still like to put myself in my own commercials.
The other night Solomon had a really hard practice. Not only was it a cold night but because of the semi finals, these coaches worked these young athletes hard. So we come home after a hard practice and it is dinner time, poor Sol is famished. Still in his shoulder pads, a messy mohawk, and dirt on his face he says in his NY twang, "Mom, I am so starving." Then in my June Cleaver voice I say, "You got it Son... go on up and take a shower... by the time you are done, I will have a fine meal ready for you" So he eagerly emerges up the stairs and begins to shower. I hike over to the fridge and frantically try and find something to cook. I promised this kid a meal... I open the freezer and hear the ark angels sing... what do I find??? A frozen Bertolli Meal Bag.... Chicken Parmesan with Pasta. Ready in 5 minutes! Super stoked I get the pan on the stove and poor the pasta in and start to heat it up. It smelled delicious... it looked delicious... but better yet... it was ready in 5 minutes! I am stirring away and even sprinkled some fresh Parmesan cheese... made some garlic bread with sandwich bread. Just as I began to plate the food and set it out, I hear the thunder of footsteps coming down the stairs. This whole time I am pretending I am in an actual real Bertolli commercial with Italian music in the background and all. Solomon sits down very impressed and starts to eat....and then I hear it... the record scratching in my head... Zachary takes one look at his plate and obviously dissatisfied with the portion size and says, "Where are we? Africa?"
We are just going to leave that part out of the commercial when I pitch it to the Bertolli company!
I guess Zachary is at that stage in life where he no longer has a problem cleaning his plate... so I can cut the "There are starving kids in Africa" speeches.